Monday 12 August 2013

THE TRAVEL BUG


                                                                                                                                               

                ‘Good morning listeners. This is radio station KLX24. Thank you for tuning in to our breakfast show. As you just heard on the weather report it is a beautiful clear morning right across our city so it is time to get up and face another day. Don’t go away as straight after these important messages we have a surprise for you.’
                ‘If you need more zip in your day try the revolutionary health tablets that are making a great comeback after some, now discredited, assessments. Yes Mr Rudd’s small, one a day, white tablets will get you zipping about in no time at all.’
                ‘For relief from constant constipation we recommend Big Brother tablets. Just one tablet a week will give you the desired results.’
                ‘Some good advice there.’
                 ‘My surprise. Well this morning we have our much respected travel expert here in the studio with me. He is affectionately known as the Travel Bug. Welcome home Jorn.’
                ‘Thank you. It is very nice to be back again in familiar surroundings.’
                ‘Well it is nice to have you back in our studio. We have all been following your very informative weekly reports with great interest. Last week you had just left the city of Madrid and were headed for London. You told us that you were expecting some quite cold weather there, even the possibility of snow. So how did it turn out?’
                ‘It did not snow but I found the city rather depressing weather wise. For my first three days there it rained constantly; not heavy, just a fine misty rain that was most annoying. If anyone intends travelling there make sure you take a rain coat and umbrella.’
                ‘What were some of the things you experienced there, apart from the rain?’
                ‘There are too many so I will just list a few. Their national dish of soggy potato chips with vile tasting vinegar is memorable. If you enjoy pomp and ceremony mixed with spine tingling excitement a high tea is not to be missed. A ride on the overcrowded, non air-conditioned, underground train system on a hot steamy afternoon is a sensory delight. There are many museums and historical sites such as the Tower, where you can view endless corridors of shiny body armour, tens of square miles of tapestries and learn a lot about the fact that in the past it was very dangerous to be married to a king. For a more detailed description of what to see and do your listeners will just have to buy my book, which will be available on-line in a few days.’
                ‘You have been away travelling now for over a year so you must have had some interesting experiences and seen some wonderful things. Can you give the listeners just a glimpse of what to expect in your book?’
                ‘Yes it has been a fabulous time and you are right I have seen some amazing things. Most of these I have spoken about in the book. I don’t want to give too much away but...’
                ‘I am sure that our listeners would like to hear just a few of the highlights’
                ‘Ok. Just a few teasers.’
                ‘The pyramids in Egypt; all that beautiful stone available to be recycled yet they build their houses out of mud bricks. Walking along the ancient Roman Forum where in the past they had a strange habit of loaning each other their ears. The massive water fall at Niagara; why they didn’t harness it for hydro electricity is a mystery. The new parliament house in Canberra; they buried most of it under dirt to keep all the hot air inside. A Grand Prix car race in Monaco; I must admit a bit of a disappointment after witnessing the traffic in both Rome and Paris.
                ‘So what is the next destination in your continuing travels?’
                ‘I am booked to travel to the planet designated Epsilon 36 in the Sigma quadrant next week. Unlike our planet, and the planet Earth where I have just been, it is uninhabited by intelligent life, so it will be a very different experience.’
                ‘Well a safe journey ‘Travel Bug’. Wow fifteen planets visited over the past 10 years. What a lucky man.’             

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