Wednesday 23 October 2013

A PIECE OF MY HEART


A PIECE OF MY HEART

 

There are many things that I vividly remember.
 On hot, still, summer nights, sitting on the back porch of our house in the middle of thousands of acres, in the middle of nowhere. The heat like a warm cloak over our bodies, the stars so bright and so near that if I reached out I could touch them. Far away in the north the flash of lightning as it illuminates a massive cloud that for a few moments looks like a giant’s glass house lit from within. The rumble of thunder that reaches us many seconds later that reminds my father too much of shell fire during the war. A red glow just peeking over the horizon in the west, another bush fire on the Liverpool Plains reminding us of the fragility of life here. Tomorrow could bring either flooding rains or more fierce heat and all consuming fire.
On a bitterly cold winter’s morning riding my horse behind a slow moving mob of sheep as the dogs ceaselessly circle behind them, keeping them together and headed in the right direction. Watching the skill of the dogs as they seem to anticipate the movements of individual sheep that try to break away, the short bursts of white breath from their mouths as they work. The low morning sun strikes the frost crystals on the grass and the bushes and sends streaks of diamond light across our path.
Out on the edge of the plains taking a rest beneath a lone gum tree, its leaves hardly moving in a gentle breeze. It is so quiet that I am sure that if I concentrate hard enough I will hear the living movements of the tree that I am resting against; its roots drawing in moisture and food and the trunk transporting it upwards to the leaves high above me.
Lying in my bed listening to the sounds of the night. The sigh of the wind through the large pine tree just outside my window.  My parents talking quietly in front of the fire in the kitchen. The sound of rain drumming on the tin roof. Sometimes the unmistakable howl of a dingo that will start off an eerie choir as others respond.
Visits to the nearest town for shopping, business for my father and sometimes for social outings such as the annual races or rodeo. Shopping was always an exciting adventure as we only went to town once a month on a Saturday. An ice cream was often my reward for behaving myself whilst the boring business of buying groceries and clothes was conducted. However I still remember my parents buying me my very first pair of R M Williams and a proper Akubra hat.
Out here in the bush there were only friends and neighbours. One never had to ask for help as it was always there whenever one needed it. A handshake was not only a greeting but also a binding contract and a promise was always kept and a person’s word was his bond.
I remember the pride I felt in the fact that I was an integral part of the running of the property. My daily chores which included, feeding the chooks and the dogs, keeping the kitchen stove supplied with wood, tending the vegetable garden, making sure the kerosene fridge never went out, lighting the chip heater for hot water for the bath, all enabled my father to concentrate on the major tasks that only he could do.
The freedom to explore and experiment. The exhilaration of galloping full speed on my horse down the long slope to our house; the wind on my face, the rhythmic movements of the horse and the feeling of power that emanated from him. The sense of achievement, and really contributing, when I brought home the first rabbit that I had shot with my new rifle and my mother cooking it for our evening meal. On weekends and holidays riding my horse out to the mountains, ridges and deep valleys that surrounded our house; watching kangaroos grazing next to the fast flowing streams, the goannas sunbaking on the rocks and the fish rising to take insects that had settled on the surface of the water. The never ending story of new birth, life and death that was played out almost daily on the wide acres of the land. It was my kingdom and I was free to explore it, to learn from it and to try to understand it.
The two times of the year that held a magical hold over me. Shearing time and lambing time. Nearly all year the shearing shed and the shearer’s quarters were the sole domain of families of mice and spiders but come shearing time they were filled with movement, energy, laughter and hard work. For me it was a whirlwind of penning up sheep, sweeping the board, keeping the water bag filled, listening to the banter of the shearers and all the time learning from my father who did the wool classing. I fell into bed every night exhausted but loved every minute of it. Lambing time was also a busy time but also one of wonder at nature at its best; the miracle of new life. We had to keep watch day and night over the ewes as they gave birth as this was a time of great danger for them and their new lambs; dingos, wild dogs, foxes and crows were always ready to take advantage. It was a time of little sleep but great rewards and to me watching over a paddock full of newborn lambs was recompense enough.
There are many other things that I remember. The smell of approaching rain, of newly mown hay, the distinctive smell that comes with the dawn just before a hot summer’s day and the aroma of freshly baked bread straight from the kitchen oven. The sound that a thousand new born lambs make, the cries of a flock of hundreds of budgerigars, the thunder of the hooves of my horse at full gallop, the crack of my father’s stock whip and the roar of a usually dry stream in full flood. The sight of a lone wedge tail eagle riding a thermal, of thousands of galahs following the harvester, of horses frisky and jumpy at the smell of approaching rain, of low branches on a willow tree trailing in the flowing river, the splendour of hillsides covered in the white of flowering gums and the brilliant green of new grass after a bush fire.
Mostly I miss the sense of belonging and being one with something. Perhaps I do not explain myself well but I am sure of one thing I left a piece of my heart in that place and at that time.

Friday 18 October 2013

A FLORAL WREATH


A FLORAL WREATH

                Mary and William were married in the springtime in Paris. They were both working there for the Australian Government immediately after the war. They were very young and madly in love. For their first wedding anniversary William gave Mary a linen rose made in an exclusive little shop in Montmartre. They returned home to Australia shortly afterwards, but each year, on their anniversary William had one of the linen roses sent from Paris so he could give it to Mary.
                Sadly William lost Mary just last year. William had a floral wreath made up from all the linen roses that he had sent Mary on their wedding anniversaries, and laid it on her grave after her funeral.

THE END

 

Tuesday 15 October 2013

AS THE WHEELS TURN


AS THE WHEELS TURN

                Quick decision. I’m going. When? Tomorrow.  No time to change my mind. Get on the phone and make the reservation now. No! I can’t do this. It’s been so long; will I even be welcome? Do it.       The bus comes at last. If it had been late I’m not sure my resolve would not have faltered. The driver loads my suitcase. Just one; all my possessions; not much to show for ten years in the city. People hug and kiss, happy, sad. Alone I climb aboard trying not to look. I choose a seat right at the back hoping no-one will sit next to me. I still have time to get off. No, it is time to do this.
                The city slides past as we turn onto the freeway. Some good memories, not that many, bitterness, failure, loneliness.  Happiness torn to shreds by her sudden betrayal.  I wonder if she is still in the city here somewhere.  Does she think of me? Probably not. Best to try to forget. I’m leaving all that behind me now.
                Out in the open country and I think of the e-mail I sent, “I’m coming by bus, Greyhound, Thursday. Can you meet me?” I should have said more; did not have the courage.
                Should have brought something to read. Bored. Another eighteen hours to go. Sheep in a paddock. The grass is lush, they must have had some rain. See, I still think like a country boy. Why did I leave? No choice really or that is what I had told myself. No future on the land, drought, debt, relentless hard work. Life in the city easy, fun. The pull of the bright lights had been irresistible. As I look at the passing countryside memories come flooding back, the shearing shed full of noise and activity, milking the cow on a cold frosty morning, fresh baked bread direct from the oven.
                Comfort stop, fifteen minutes, don’t be late, get off, stretch and join the queue for the loo. That rhymes. Buy a paper. Luke warm pies, sausage rolls, limp sandwiches in a coffin of plastic, ten varieties of coke a cola and a pimply faced youth who asks, “Watcha want?” Nothing thanks.
                As the wheels turn time seems to slow down. The paper has been read and passed to a fellow passenger who asked, “You finished with that mate?” Sound recedes, becomes the gentle lapping of waves on a stony beach, she is walking away, I want to follow but can’t, she does not look back. A loud voice intrudes, the driver, we are stopped, “Those of you travelling further check at the transit counter. Thank you for choosing Greyhound.”
                Waiting room; children scamper, some read, others just stare into their personal abyss, backpackers chatter.... Germans, not sure. I have to get out; three hours is too long to sit. Walk aimlessly; suddenly hungry. McDonalds; cardboard box, cardboard circle, cardboard bun, cardboard meat, tiny salty chips in a paper container. Walk again, feeling better. Small town, small town people. Some nod, some stare at the stranger. Darkness and cold drive me back to the waiting room.
                Finally on the last leg, smaller bus, elderly gentleman beside me, says hi, then settles back and sleeps. Dark night, feel like I’m in a dim time capsule rocking and bumping though a black void on its way to an unknown future. Occasionally headlights flash past like comets in the dark.
                Try to sleep as the wheels turn. An hour gone by? No, the luminous hands of my watch say ten minutes. Don’t look at the watch. The coming dawn tears a long bright strip in the darkness of the night that slowly turns to red. My body aches, my head is full of half remembered dreams. Not long now.
                Then there they are at the side of the road beside a dusty, battered four wheel drive. My father tall and ramrod straight, my mother, grey hair now, searching the windows, looking for me. Down the steps, my mother’s warm embrace, my father’s firm handshake. “Welcome home son.”
                Yes, home.        

Saturday 12 October 2013

NARRATOR MAGAZINE

My story THE ROBOT has been published on-line on the Narrator Magazine site.
You can access and read it at http://www.narratorsss.com/2013/10/the-robot-john-ross.html
It is free. So enjoy.

Monday 7 October 2013

THE TANGLED WOOD


THE TANGLED WOOD

John Ross ©

                My young brother and I called it ‘The Tangled Wood’. We had called it this ever since our mother told us the story of a young knight who had dared to enter it. The legend said that he had become so entangled in the thick bushes that grew under the towering trees that he had never returned. She was always warning us that the woods were full of evil, and demons and goblins lived there. There were also rumours that a tribe of men who worshipped the devil had made it their home.
                Our estate was the largest in the county and was bordered on one side by the road to Winchester and on the other three by a brook. The woods began just on the other side of the brook. My father employed many people to work our land. They lived in family groups in small villages scattered over the estate. Even as a very young person I was aware of the vast difference between these folk and our family. Neither my brother nor I had to work and we had private tutors. The serf families were very poor; their children received no education and were sent out to work as soon as they were old enough. This did not overly concern me as it was the way it had always been. My life was too full of exciting things and I rarely had time to dwell on such matters. I was very busy with my lessons and the captain of our house guard was teaching me how to use a long sword. Father had also told me that after my next birthday he was going to arrange for me to have lessons in jousting. I dreamt every night of joining the crusaders in far off lands and winning heroic battles.
                The day before my sixteenth birthday my brother John and I had ridden out to the edge of the estate near the wood. My uncle from Winchester had recently given me a hunting falcon and we had set out to give it some exercise. We had chosen this area as game birds often flew out of the wood to drink at the brook. It was time for my falcon to try for his very first wild kill.
                I waited until a large pheasant flew down to the water’s edge and then released my falcon. The pheasant immediately took fright and darted back into the darkness of the wood followed closely by the falcon. The falcon is a bird that lives and hunts in open country so I was amazed to see it enter the woods.
                We waited for many minutes but the bird did not reappear. Then my servant tapped me on the arm and said, ‘Listen master. It’s the falcon can you hear it?’ Just very faintly from deep in the wood I could hear the sound of the bird in obvious distress. I immediately dismounted and started towards the brook.
                Without looking back I said, ‘We’ll cross here. We can follow the sound of the bird into the wood.’ Behind me I heard a gasp from my brother and turned to see a look of horror on his face. My servant had dropped to his knees and was fervently crossing himself and mumbling Hail Marys.
                I was not going to let a few rumours started by ignorant peasants stop me from trying to retrieve my prize bird, so ignoring my brother’s pleas and the servants talk of demons I crossed into the wood.
                I had only taken a dozen steps when my courage deserted me. The small bushes that lined the edge of the wood had given way to tall trees with gnarled twisted trunks. Very little light filtered down from the canopy far above my head. In the deep gloom a rotting tree stump became a snarling goblin. A twisted vine hanging from a branch was the devil’s serpent. Darkness wrapped itself around my soul and the chill of evil invaded my mind and body.
                The cry of the falcon brought me back to reality, and summoning all my courage, I headed deeper into the wood towards it. To keep my imagination under control I started to recite the Lord’s Prayer aloud.
                Ahead I could see a clearing and a patch of sunshine. Instinctively I changed direction towards it. Just a few moments in that golden light would lift the black thoughts from my soul.
                I stood in the centre of the small clearing and lifted my head up to the light. Its warmth renewed me and I felt ready to continue.
                Suddenly the deep piles of fallen leaves around me exploded.
                The air was full of flying, rotten matter.
                A terrifying cry rent the silence asunder.
                I fell to the ground, my body convulsing with terror.
                Dimly through the twisting, dancing leaves I saw them.
                Grotesque figures with contorted faces. Demons. The spawn of Satan.
                I fainted.
                It was dark. I was lying next to a roaring fire over which a deer carcass was roasting.
                Two young men who were sitting next to the fire were looking at me. The tallest one stood up and walked over towards me. He sat down next to me and said, ‘Don’t be frightened Master Richard. My men meant you no harm. It was their idea of a joke.
                When I asked who he was he replied, ‘My name is Robin and my fat friend there is Brother Tuck.’